It's a Land Rover Thing ... mostly!
However, it appears to be randomly contagious. There are those who make sure they are well vaccinated, others whose natural resistance eventually wins over and then there’s ‘us’ – those immune to any vaccines, antidotes or medicine and who will therefore have the bug coursing strongly through our veins right to the very end. I wonder if anyone has ever requested to be buried in Land Rover and had their wish fulfilled?
(Yup, I know; I just invited lots of clever comments from our Toyota brethren ... but then that’s all part of the fun isn’t it?)
That age old Land Rover versus Toyota jeering, sparring, abusing discussion thing. Well, a very good friend of mine by the name of Wessel happens to be an authority on both brands – he started out his mechanical career and training with Land Rover and ended up looking after a large fleet of them in the demanding conditions of the Okavango Delta before moving across to Toyota where he also spent quite a number of years, during which time he successfully passed every vehicle diagnostics course they have available – and when I asked him which of the vehicles he thought was better, his reply was, “Vehicles break Dave, but they break less if you look after them properly.” … Spoken like a true mechanic!
So then, what about the money tin I kept stuck on my dash when travelling around Africa in lieu of beer contributions in exchange for pulling the too many to mention Toyota's out of trouble? … Okay, so I admit, it was an empty tin and I had to fund my own booze!
Truth being told, regardless of the badge us intrepid kit-up-your-chariot-and-travel travellers get attached to our vehicles, and especially more so when we’ve faced and survived a few of the challenges, ‘make-a-plan’ moments and adventures that over-landing around most continents is going to throw at you.
That beautiful 1999 Defender 300 tdi shown at the top of this article and I have had a few memorable moments together. I remember a ‘make-a-plan’ one when heading north from Kubu Island and about to cross the Makgadikgadi Pans back in 2005 when the nut and washer from the bottom of my right rear suspension decided it didn’t wish to continue travelling with us; one of those metal washer on either side of a thick rubber washer washers. And, naturally it wasn’t anywhere to be seen down the road I’d just travelled. As I’m sure all serious off-roaders do, I always travel with a bunch of ‘just-in-case-I-need-it’ bits ‘n pieces and so found one suitable steel washer, cut some circles out of a piece of rubber inner tube and managed to fashion a second washer using an old 1000 Metical coin and my trusty cord-less drill (hope no-one from the Mozambican Treasury Department reads this).
And then in February 2008 – for those of you perhaps not aware, there was a serious amount of rain in Botswana at the beginning of 2008 - I successfully completed my very own solo, epic, Camel Trophy-type adventure. I was on the way into Maun from the Linyanti to attend a first aid refresher course and managed, very successfully I might add, to get stuck on four different occasions. Fortunately for me there were a lot of Mopane trees around as getting myself unstuck on each of these ‘occasions’ required reeling out my winch cable almost the whole length three or four times in a row. Strangest thing is, even though I was the one who got the vehicle stuck in the first place I arrived in Maun all covered in mud and with the biggest cheesiest grin on my dial, like I’d just achieved and survived the most amazing adventure ever - what’s with that logic?
Sadly I don’t own her anymore, which brings me to another point. When we sell a vehicle such as this it’s like losing a family member - which is why I’d recommend never doing that, especially if it’s a Land Rover. Clearly some of us need to learn things the hard way!
But, all is not lost. Here’s a photo of my current Landy. This time around it’s a 1999 Discovery, and once again a 300 Tdi.
Um, did I happen to mention that there are different levels to this Land Rover illness?
You see, in amongst most of the patients there’s this ongoing 200tdi versus 300tdi versus Td5 versus 2,8 petrol versus the later 2,4 and 2,2 diesel engines - opinion, comparison, flexing discussion thing. The seriously affected also suffer further with the ‘no electrics, some electrics or too much electrics’ symptom!!!
For what it’s worth, and for right now, I’m sticking with the ‘it’s-all-mechanical-so-can-be-fixed-out-there-in-the-wilds’ theory. With the 300tdi all you need are a few spanners; a piece of fence wire and some Pratley Putty and you can tackle just about any repair … Okay, so maybe a fully charged cordless drill might come in handy?
